Issue Num 12 (Autumn 1998)                                      Page 3                                     ANG TANJAYANON NEWSLETTER
  
 Unforgettable . . .

(. . . that's what they are.     We are referring  to remarks made by or about Tanjayanons either by Tanjayanons themselves or their friends. Here, with our apologies to their authors, are some originals:

"The Treasury is not only broke, nabuslot na gyud!" Mayor Baltazar T. Salma, upon assuming office and describing the state of the treasury of the municipality of Tanjay.

* * * *

"Ha? Taga-Tanjay na sab?   Haaay, Guinoo!!!" 
      Mrs. Rosa Radoc-Banogon of Bayawan, Negros Oriental married to a Tanjayanon   (whose daughter Guida  also married  a Tanjayanon Caling Ramirez, taga Polo)  upon learning  that her other favorite daughter, Myrna, was going out with  (and eventually married)  another gwapo'ng Tanjayanon, si Elpi Culi, taga-Abogon.

* * * *

"I'm afraid we made a fool of ourselves."
      Ms. Linda Morante-Orcullo, at the fiesta vesperas party, being affectionately given  a long standing ovation for their showmanship after she and her husband Pete gamely rendered  the nostalgic  Matud Nila, a duet ala Mat Ranillo/Gloria Sevilla style.

* * * * 

"Aerobics, ballroom dancing, dayong shoot-to-kill!"
     Anie Piñero, nga sa Dumaguete kono ang mga health conscious ang bisyo siging exercise, bayle, unya ng kaon su-to-kil (pronounced shoot-to-kill) for sugba, tola, ug kilaw. 
* * * * 

"Thank God, for DI's!"
     Nene (Dr Fidel B.) Señerisvoicing out the heartfelt gratitude to Dancing Instructors who give husbands respite and much needed rest from the duty of dancing with their wives.
 * * * *
"Ayguinii, na-a may daghan ana sa Tanjay!"
    Evalyna Señeris-Mantes, pooh-poohing the ad:  Enjoy sunny California, with its celebrities, beautiful beaches, scenic mountains,  exciting night life, . . ."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Mora'g Tanjayanon tong drivera

    Outside a hotel in Manila, a Japanese tourist gets in a cab and tells the driver to get him to the airport.  On their way, a car zoomed by and the Japanese goes, "Aaaah, Toyota.  Made in Japan. Very faaast"   Toud-toud, nalabyan na pud sila'g laing awto.  "Aaah, Mitsubishi.  Made in Japan.
Very faaast."  
    For the third time, nalabyan sila'g awto.  "Aaaah, Honda.  Made in Japan. Very faaast"    "Matay'ng katalanang Hapona ni," ingon tong Pinoy driver. Upon arriving at the airport, the cabbie tells his passenger "400 pesos, please."  The Japanese goes, "400 pesos? It's not that far from the
hotel!"  Tubag 'tong gwatsinanggong driver: "Aaaah, taxi-meter.  Made in Japan.  Very faaast".

                                                                                                Thanks to Rey M. Reyes
                                                                                                Bellflower, Calif
o-o-o-o-o-o-o

20/20 Vision

     Si 'Noy Viano ug si 'Noy Isok, mga tigulang na intawong nagdouy-kouy na. Usa ka hapon, naglakaw-lakaw sila sa Tanjay. 
     Matay'ng yati-a  na, pagliko nila sa Arsenal St do-ul sa ka Tia Taning dapit sa Plaza, nadam-agan sila ining usa ka babayeng nagbisikleta, nagpakusog, walay brakes.  Suskoguinoo, silang tulo nangabalintong nangalukot sa kanal.   Dayon unya, ang babaye mibangon, guipatindog ang iyang bisekleta, misakay dayong larga, walay tingog-tingog.
    'Uy , Pare" ingon si Noy Isok, "unsa man tong bayhana?" 
    "Bitaw.   Sige atong i-report sa police", tubag si Noy Viano. "Unsa man toy numero sa iyang plaka?"
    "Uy, wala ra ba nako mabasa ang iyang plaka."
    "O, sige na lang.  Unsa to'y kolor sa iyang bisekleta?  Baloon tire ba to, o' gamay ug ligid?"
    "Na, mao ra pud na, kay wa gyud ko makabantay  sa iyang bisekleta. Na-lialum man gud ko", tubag ni Noy Viano.
    So wala na lang.  Dili sila maka-report kay dili man ang mga tigulang maka-identify sa bisekleta.   Parayon na lang intawon sila sa ilang lakaw.  Walay sulti-sulti. Pulos naghinoktok.  Taud-taud, mi-ingon si Noy
Isok, "Pare, nindota pud ug pa-a tong bayhana no?"
    "Bitaw, Pare, baling lami-a, puti kaayo", tubag pud ni Noy Viano.

                                                                                                                         From the book
                                                                                                                        Tall Tales from Tanjay
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Come Fly With Me

    Pag-agi sa tartanilya ni Saloy sa Opao, gui-para siya ni Berta.
    Saloy: Asa man ka Berta?
    Berta:  Adto sa simbahan.
    Saloy:  Ikaw rang usa?
    Berta:  Ikaw diay?

                                                                                                       Thanks to: Dr. Julius O. Ligo
                                                                                                       Holy Child Hosp., Dumaguete City

(Dr. Julius Ligo, son of Dist Supvr Tio Pedong  and Annie Oracion-Ligo, is young,  smart, very good-looking - liwat sa amahan -and maayo gyud kaayo'g batasan.  For those young ladies who want only the best, I have his phone number, e-mail address and proof that ulitawo pa ni siya.) 

o-o-o-o-o-o-o
 
Mga Ebol Ebak 

    Diha'y usa ka maestra sa ato nga bisa'g medyo may edad na, kusog pa guihapong mopabarug: mugbo'g mga sinina, sleeveless, kusog mamulbos usahay daghang kabang.
    One day, sa iyang klase sa ebol (Grade I), ang lesson "say what you see". Nagkuha siya ug tamatis.  Iyang gui-isa ang iyang kamot, dayong ingon, "Wat is diiiis?"
    "Tomeetooooo !" syaggit ang iyang mga ebol.
    "Beri guuuud," ingon si teacher.   Sunod kuha siya ug gamay nga marble.  "Wat is diiiiis?"
    "Marbuuuul" syaggit na pud ang mga ebol.
    "Beri guuuud," ingon na pud si Ma'am.    Karon  kuha  siya ug gamay kaayo nga pasi sa humay.  Iyang gui-isa ang iyang kamot and asked:  "Wat is diiiis?"
    O, walay tingog ang mga ebol.
    "Wat is diiiiiiis?"   Iyang gui-isa pa gyud ug taas-taas ang iyang kamot. Wala guihapon  maka-answer ang mga ebol.   Excited na kaayo si teacher. Guita-as na niya pag-ayo ang iyang kamot.   "Wat is diiiiiis?   Unsa'y inyong nakitaaaaaaa?"
    Nanyaggit ang mga ebol: "Buhok sa imong ilooook!"

                                                                     Contributed by Sonny T. Mercado.
                             Canoga Park,  Calif.
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